So I moved into my new house on May 4th. Everything was going well, everyone was happy. Then I got admitted into my new school. That's when everything started to fall. Last Wednesday being my first day there.
My Dad constantly would try to contact me about 5 or more times a day. It was bothering me, and I would try to ignore him, and I would explode in rage after I hung up to his phone calls. Blasting music in my ears, I tried to not think about him. Then it got to me that following night after my first day at my new school. I broke down, crying, saying I wanted to kill my self, hurt myself, or just be put into a mental hospital.
I had enough of talking to him. He annoyed me so much to the point where I broke down crying, shaking. That I didn't have anything to do with this world anymore. I wanted it to stop, I wanted it to end, immediately. I talked to 7 different people that night, so I could try and calm myself down, including an operator on the crisis line that I had spoken with. To those of you I spoke to, thank you...
I probably would've done something to myself if I didn't get any help. Went to my school counselor about it, and he sent me home early on Thursday. He said my feelings are more important at the moment than school. Mentioning it was near the end of the school year, and there won't be much activity going on at school.
I've still been out of school since then. I more than likely will be out tomorrow and Thursday, maybe this entire week. I cry basically everyday now, and I feel depressed a lot. Nothing seems to help at all anymore. And right now, I'm mute.
I won't say anything, I don't feel like talking verbally, only by text or messaging on the internet. But I will sing to sad songs or anything that seems to be related to my current mood. I will sing my heart out and cry as the tears stream down my face, knowing that I need help. But... I just can't take it anymore. So if you happen to see vent art from me sometime this week, you will know exactly why.
It would help if anyone out there reading this would happen to stop by and message me here on dA. Note me, leave a comment, Skype message me. Anything. I want help, but I'm not the type to ask for it. If you don't know what will make me feel better, just roleplay with me, or ask me what could probably help me right now. I can't take much more from all of this going on around me... *cries* I'm sorry...